This blog is made by me alone. My blogs are always open to change and are intended as art. I am imparting you into my experience.

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Subject: Jorn

DoB:1984

Occupation: code

I grew up in a small village in the Netherlands. I had a great youth. My parents did not force a certain belief-system on me which I am grateful for. It also had the effect that it set me up, curious and adventurous as I am, to find that myself.

As I learned more about the world, I started to become estranged to it. I mean this is what most teenagers go through, this endless struggle of identification. With friends, the group, idols, teachers, the losers. You know, anything. Even as a kid, I understood that the things I was involved in were not what I wanted to be. They were not something I identified with completely.

I started after high school. I liked high school in some respects, but I did not do very much to get through it. I spent 2 years in graphics design. I dropped out and went to France, to pick grapes. A great experience. Alone, and to my surprise a great adventure.

I have sailed on the lake close to my village from early on. Eventually, I got to work at the sailing school there as a windsurfing instructor. I did like that a lot. Teaching is much like learning together. It is like exploring something dynamic together through inquiry. Even if I have explained it a 1000 times, there is a dynamic of listening. You check in and learn about learning itself. Like you learn the how of the others learning and in that learn your own teaching.

Windsurfing is much like sailing. But, there is no rudder. You move the surface area of the sail over a fixed point on the surfboard to “steer”. The physics of the sail are much the same as the aerodynamics of the wing of an airplane. The dynamics of the wind and the weather, the moving water, the feeling of balance that you learn and train.

And one of the things that you learn is not to be too tense. Your body is relaxed enough to absorb the changes and react properly. And this principle is found in almost any activity, even of the mind. You become proactive.

I also did sports education for a while, to teach basic sports to elementary schools. I started an internship with my own gym teacher. She taught me when I was a kid. She knew every single name of every single kid, of like a couple of schools. She was firm but fair. You know with these kids, you need to nip it in the bud or you are gone. Completely out of their field of periphery. And individual attention where it is needed. You need both, a strict approach and a soft one.

As I grew up more as a young adult, I realized that my free lifestyle was catching up to me. I had to work cheap jobs. I took lots of call center jobs to get by. In all that I do find my way, we all know this: you make the best of the situation. Communication is weird sometimes if there is a proxy relationship.

If I am selling a good product and the person is interested, then I need to keep a pleasant relationship. I also need to build trust. The product will sell itself, right? Nevertheless, the selling for selling as a statistic, because the company wants profit kind of got to me over time. I don’t deny that a company can make a profit. Yet, it has always bugged me that we sell something just for some profit-model.

I joined a cult called Desteni for a while around 2010. In the end it seemed like there is much talk about principles and ideology but very little action. Deconstructive to and incompatible with reality by creating a morbid outlook of the world in general.

It took years for me to process it properly.

I remember a dream. And no I usually am not much for the dream interpretations. Nevertheless, this dream had a certain quality to it, I never had a dream like this. I saw a circle of people sitting in a grass-field. The people were different from the people I knew and had met. I was different too. They were somewhat relatable. Then I saw this cult-leader. He stood there outside of the circle of people that were just chatting among themselves. He had this kind of grin on his face and a veil of black smoke in front of his eyes.

This experience moved me profoundly. It led me to recover my own experiences and realizations from that great time period. It also inspired me to completely remove this character from my being. After quite some years I picked up just a simple life.

Nowadays I do programming with as a daily structure/learning/occupation aka not work. Just basics backend and frontend website design and code.

About this blog

The universe seems endless at least to the extent of the limitations of our instruments. The same seems to be true for the smallest thing we can observe. Within these scales is where the interesting thing happens. Creation as I see it is the proportion and scale, created and placed specifically designed to for the created to meet no boundaries.

A scale that is human and everything around is adheres to that scale. Languages including programming languages have limits that also have to meet certain proportions that we then create in turn in our chips, to adhere to and respond by. Nothing is completely predictable in nature or measurable, while at the same time being quite predictable and stable.

At the smaller level that perception seems not to hold any ground and a unpredictable and almost instant process of creation takes place as if everything is created in real time the whole time all the time. Time is also then a circular loop or circular movement that is moving as well while being a movement on itself.

Life is moving regardless of death and decay